Snap Judgments are Often Misjudgments

I was working in the meeting room of my favorite coffee shop when a middle-aged woman walked in.  She looked around, I smiled at her, and she quickly left again.  


"Strange," I thought.  "Maybe she's just looking for someone, although it seemed like she wanted to come in.  I'm the only one in here, and there's plenty of room."  I shook it off and refocused on my computer screen.


A couple moments later, she re-entered the room and stood across the room from me, right in my line of sight.  She was intently focused on what appeared to be a smart phone.  When she briefly looked up, I smiled at her again, and greeted her.  She said nothing and quickly returned her attention to her phone.


At this point I started to become a little frustrated.  I'm not used to people acting quite so rudely.  I noticed she had a big Bible with her, which she had placed on one of the tables nearby.  I asked her if she was getting ready for a Bible study of some kind.  She waved her hand dismissively, said nothing, and stared back at her cell phone.  


Now I became more frustrated.  I tried to overlook her rude behavior, but I began to think about packing up and leaving the coffee shop.  It was suddenly a little uncomfortable there, and I was no longer concentrating successfully on my work.


As I began to gather my things, stewing a little bit at this woman who was still standing there and ignoring me, another lady carrying a Bible walked into the room and sat down at a table next to where the first woman stood.  The two of them did not speak to each other, and barely acknowledged each other at all.  "This is a really strange group," I thought.  "I'm just going to make a quiet exit."


As I finished packing, one more lady walked into the room and began "speaking" to the other two ladies in sign language.  Suddenly everything became clear.


Once again I realized how often our snap judgments about people are made without all of the facts, and thus they are almost always misjudgments.  We might see a man with a scowl on his face and think he's angry; in truth he may simply be mentally working through a tough issue.  We might greet a friend passing by and then feel dissed when they rush past without acknowledging our greeting; we don't realize they are racing to some time-critical thing, unaware of anyone else around them.  I read of one couple that left a church because their pastor didn't speak to them one morning; upon discussing this with him many months later, he recalled that this event happened the Sunday morning he had the flu, and he was racing to the bathroom because he was about to vomit.    


We have all made snap judgments about people or situations, only later to find out the facts--as well as the errors of our snap judgments. 


Judging someone's motives is perhaps the greatest way we err.  For example, we might see someone do something we don't understand, and then we make assumptions about the motive that person might have had.  In my own experience, when I have done this, I have been wrong probably 95% of the time.


James 1:19-20 says this: "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires."  When we rush down the path of judgment and then even anger, we are not living the righteous life that God expects of His people.  Better would be to pause and mentally shower every person around us with grace.  


After all, I know how gracious God has been with me!