Easier to Ask Forgiveness than Ask Permission?

I have sometimes heard people quip, "I just did it because I thought it would be easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission." When someone says this, their hearers usually nod their heads in agreement, perhaps smiling at the thought.

But I want to ask this: is it easier (or better) to ask forgiveness than permission? It may work for quick little decisions that need to be made at work or at home. But what about in areas of life that carry greater consequences?

• Do we "borrow" (steal) something from our workplace and then hope our boss will be forgiving?
• Do we fudge some numbers on our taxes and hope the IRS, if they notice, will forgive the "oversight"?
• Do we push towards intimate activity outside the bounds of marriage and then hope for forgiveness the next day?
• Do we come home late without first making sure it's okay with those who are affected by this?

Does this philosophy help or hurt our relationship with our boss? Does it build trust or damage trust with our spouse? Is it setting a good example for our children or others who are watching?

Forgiveness is an essential aspect of our lives. We want to be people filled with grace and forgiveness, especially if we are followers of Jesus Christ. As we have been forgiven so much, so we too must be good forgivers (see Matthew 18:21-35). And we want to ask forgiveness from others when we have hurt them in some way.

However, if we presume we will be forgiven and then set out in a direction we know is sinful, is that really the right thing to do? I believe much interpersonal damage has resulted from this line of thought.

Let's not do something we know is wrong and presume people will just forgive and forget. Such actions hurt relationships with people we are closest to. Let's not allow a pithy little saying justify something we will regret later.

Three Little Words that Threaten to Destroy Us

There are three little words that threaten to destroy our lives. You've heard them before. It's likely that you've even said them.

Perhaps you've been out with some friends and they have asked you to do something you knew was wrong, or maybe only a little outside the boundaries. Yet you rationalized it thinking that maybe it was "no big deal."

Perhaps you've been on the internet late at night, and wondered what kinds of pornographic pictures might be accessible for free. Maybe at that time you thought it was "no big deal."

Perhaps you exploded in anger at the kids, or said some demeaning things to your spouse, or spent money you knew you didn't have. At that moment you may have rationalized it as "no big deal."

But was it really "no big deal"? Or did you find out later that it really was worse than you thought at first?

Those three little words can be used to justify the first few steps down a destructive path. Those first steps might initially seem like they aren't really problematic. But they lead us in a direction we don't really want to go. And it doesn't take long for things to get worse.

It might seem like "no big deal" to gamble a hundred dollars. Or fool around with a girlfriend. Or sign up on a dating site even though we're married. Or look at a little porn. Or try marijuana. Or drive home from the bar even when we know we have had too much to drink. But we've all seen the results of those things that at first seemed like "no big deal." Maybe we've even felt the pain of those decisions in our own lives.

Sin IS a big deal. Even a little sin is a big deal. I suspect that you don't really need to be convinced of this - you know it in your heart. If you have the Holy Spirit in you, He has shown you this very clearly.

Let's decide to stand against the idea of "no big deal" before we do the thing. When we hear those words ringing in our minds, let that be a red flag to reexamine our course and change direction. Let's not let those three little words lead us down a path of sin that brings pain to ourselves or others.